16 Dec A Rare Peek Into a Nurse’s Life During the Holidays

If you have never lived with a nurse, or had one in your family, you have probably never given much thought to this subject. You’ve probably never thought about what a nurse is doing on Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years – or even on birthdays, the 4th of July, and Mother’s Day. On these days, you’re probably enjoying time with your family, celebrating and making memories together. Many times, however, nurses do not have this privilege. If you do happen to be close with a nurse, these are the times that you may be feeling their absence because more often than not, they will be at work. I’ve been a nurse for almost 30 years, but I don’t talk much about that part of my life on this blog. I generally keep my work life at work and my home life at home. But today, I thought I would give you a rare peek into a nurse’s life during the holidays.

Holiday Requirements

I doubt if any nurse has a single thought about the hours they will work or scheduling requirements when they first apply for Nursing School. Nurses don’t sign up for crazy work hours. For the most part, nurses go into the profession because they care about people and health. But from the time a nurse first graduates and gets their first job, they are made acutely aware of the grim reality of schedules, “holiday requirements,” and what a nurse’s life is going to look like during holidays. Schedules and scheduling requirements vary greatly, depending on where you work. You can be guaranteed that if you work for a hospital, you will work through some of the major and minor holidays. It’s also a typical hospital policy that time off is not granted around the winter holidays, so don’t think of travelling to see family!

We accept these requirements and limitations, but each year, the truth is, we once again face the sadness and pain of missing out.

The Reality

As nurses, we regularly miss out on holiday celebrations, parties, and gatherings with family and friends. But what exactly does this mean? And what does it look like? What does this mean for families and friends?

Much of the time, when planning a celebration, family and friends are forced to either accept the nurse’s absence or to attempt to reschedule the event if at all possible. Some families are more flexible than others. Some have a very difficult time celebrating a birthday or holiday on an alternative day.

Before my children were old enough to read a calendar, I would simply tell them that “It’s your birthday on Tuesday!” or “It’s Christmas in one week!” Of course that wouldn’t work with the 4th of July fireworks or Halloween trick or treating, so we would have to miss out. As they’ve gotten older, and started being more aware of dates, the actual day started to matter.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving, for my family, is one of those holidays that can’t really be rescheduled. Family comes in from out of town, and other family members are only off of work for the typical Thursday to Sunday, so visiting, feasting and time together has to fit into those days. The good new is, a nurse can usually get at least one or two of those four days off, and can participate in the festivities in some capacity.

The not-so-good news, is that as a nurse, my participation in the festivities is limited. Yes – that’s a nurse’s life during the holidays. But I have rarely had the opportunity to help in the preparations of Thanksgiving dinner. Sometimes I joke that this is a benefit, but it’s something that I miss. I have also had to sleep through most Thanksgiving Days because I worked the night before. I know of some nurses who try to get through the day without sleeping, but I don’t recommend it. In my younger years I would try this, but I now consider it a ridiculous and desperate thing to do. It is harmful to the nurse and does not benefit anyone.

Christmas Then

Before my children were old enough to read a calendar, when I was scheduled to work Christmas, I simply planned our celebration on another day. They never knew the difference. Then they became aware of dates, and suddenly my stories about Santa coming three days early wasn’t working.

“It’s because you’re special!” I’d insist. But they weren’t fooled.

“There’s no way he’s going to leave the North Pole 3 days before Christmas! He’s way too busy!”

I tried to accommodate. I work the night shift, so I spent Christmas Eve at work, delivering babies. The staff would all bring food for a potluck – it’s our way of injecting a little joy into our shift. We also typically have a Secret Santa exchange. Each member of the staff works hard to stay busy and keep a cheery smile on their face because no one wants to think about what we’re missing.

In the morning I headed home, excited to celebrate with my family, but also exhausted. The kids and my husband were up, waiting for me to start with the festivities. We unwrapped our presents, ate far too much, laughed, played games, and listened to Christmas carols. I struggled so hard to stay awake that I was nauseated. Now, when I look at pictures from that Christmas, I remember nothing – just the incapacitating brain fog, the nausea, and eventually passing out cold on the couch. I lost that Christmas.

Christmas Now

So now I approach things differently. Christmas is too big, and the memories are too monumental to miss. So despite the protests, I insist that we choose a day to celebrate that suits each member of our family.

“It’s not like Jesus was born on December 25th!” I remind them. And they grudgingly agree.

Sometimes our Christmas is on the 21st of December; sometimes it’s on the 27th. We still try to save a gift to open for the 25th. If possible, we will cook a special meal. We miss out on things – like the extended family’s group chat and sharing of pictures, but the important part for me is that I get to celebrate with my family. I am present with them and at my best, even if it’s not the same day as everyone else. That’s just how a nurse’s life is during the holidays.

New Year’s Eve

When I was young and single, New Year’s Eve was a little more eventful than it is now. It was the big party, where we would dress up and celebrate far into the morning. Well, my friends, those days are long gone. Married life and children became the focus. Now the very idea of a party lasting past midnight is horrifying to me. So I will often offer to work this holiday. When my children were younger, I didn’t mind working because knew I wasn’t missing much since because they would be in bed. Now, as they get older, the party and midnight countdown is becoming important to them. This is another holiday that you can’t celebrate on an alternative day, so it may be one that I will have to miss.

At work, we typically have a little token celebration and exchange “Happy New Years!” wishes with our patients. There’s a potluck, and often silly hats and decorations. We may even share a little sparkling grape juice, pretending it’s champagne. If we have the chance, our highlight is to watch the fireworks from the hospital windows and the ball drop on TV. But truthfully, there are times that we are so busy or involved in our work that we don’t have to chance to acknowledge the moment.

Whatever is happening at work, we are still thinking of our family and friends, celebrating without us – whether in a big way, or in a quiet way at home.

Don’t Forget the Nurses in Your Life During the Holidays

Even if a nurse’s life only occasionally includes holidays, they are not going to make a big deal about missing them. It’s part of their life and they know that their work has purpose and that their patients are important. But this doesn’t make it easy. So please, if you have a nurse in your life, do everything you can to include them in your holiday celebrations. This may consist of trying a little harder to fit celebrations into the nooks and crannies of life. It may be a quick video message to them while they are at work. Let them know that you are thinking of them. Let them know and that you care for them, even while they are caring for others.

Happy Holidays!