18 Nov Has Punctuality Lost It’s Value?

I finally plopped myself unceremoniously into a chair with a deep sigh. We were supposed to leave for an appointment 10 minutes ago, and my children still were not ready. One had decided at the last minute to go to the bathroom, and the other decided they needed to wear a different shirt. I had given them plenty of notice, more than enough time to prepare, and lots of encouragement. Yet here we were, late again. As this was becoming a routine occurrence, I was forced to examine my parenting. Had I not instilled the importance of punctuality into my children? Or did my children simply not see punctuality as something of value? Or to take it even further, has punctuality simply lost it’s value in our society?

My Observations of Punctuality

I’ve been observing and thinking about punctuality for some time now – and if you find yourself in any of the following situations, my opinion may be an unpopular one. Please know that I am not referring to anyone in particular. These observations are in general, and I merely intend to shine a little light on the situation.

I work as a nurse, and almost every day, I watch people arrive to work late. They seem oblivious to how this affects others. Patients do not arrive for scheduled appointments on time – or anywhere near on time – which can dramatically affect our staffing. Healthcare providers rarely run on time, yet they certainly require punctuality on the part of their patients!

Homeschool Isn’t Exempt!

It’s the same in the homeschool community – if not worse! Co-ops are left in the lurch because a homeschool mom, who was supposed to teach a class decided not to arrive on time. I’ve taken my children to dozens of playdates where not a single person, despite numerous reassurances of attendance.

Even socially, the value of punctuality seems lost. I’ll never forget the first big party I was invited to when I had started my first nursing job. I showed up on time and not a soul was in sight. How awkward is that? I seriously believed that I either had the wrong day or the wrong place! Recently, I to meet a homeschool group to see about joining their co-op. Again I thought I might have the wrong location because no one from the group arrived until 45 minutes after the agreed-upon time.

Has our society simply lost all value of punctuality?

We Learn Punctuality From Our Parents

I grew up in a family that highly valued punctuality. Maybe to the point of pathologically. My father actually set all of our clocks 10 minutes ahead to ensure that we would always be on time. I specifically remember a very cold winter morning, sitting in our vehicle in an empty church parking lot because we were so early. When going on a camping retreat, my family would go a day early. If we had a dentist appointment, you could be sure that we would all be sitting patiently in the waiting room at least 15 minutes – and probably 30 minutes – early. It was something we were known for, and it made an impression on me.

This trait followed me into adulthood. It was always important to me to arrive to work on time, to be a appointments on time, and to never keep another person waiting.

The Definition of Punctuality

The definition of punctuality is:

noun

1. The state or character of being punctual.
2. Adherence to the exact time of meeting one’s obligations or performing one’s duties; especially, the fact or habit of promptness in attendance or in fulfilling appointments.

The Century Dictionary

It’s easy to think of punctuality as something outside of ourselves. But this definition describes it as a state of character. This designation makes it so much more personal and important to our own personal growth. Furthermore, I would suggest that if punctuality is a state of character, so also then is a lack of punctuality a lack of character.

Training our Children in Punctuality

Just a my parents instilled in me, so must we, as parents intentionally train our children in the character and virtue of punctuality. As in all things, we must live the life that we want our children to emulate. We must be an example of punctuality if we expect this from our children. Parents teach children, through example, how to show up on time for appointments, classes, social engagements, and even for homeschool. This shows respect and consideration for others, and it reflects on our character.

Punctuality and Homeschool

Obviously punctuality is of great importance in how we relate to others but it is also of great importance when it comes to ourselves. Punctuality isn’t just about showing up on time for others, it’s about showing up for ourselves. Just the other day, I had to have a serious discussion with my children about punctuality in the homeschool. More and more, we were getting into the habit of dawdling. The children would stop between subjects to run outside, and soon we’d lost an hour of time. They were attempting to do handicrafts (yes, we’re obsessed) while reading and then the reading suffered. Our lack of focus and dawdling led to longer, draw-out lessons, which weren’t always completed. By the end of the day, we were often left frustrated because we haven’t been able to complete our work and because there hadn’t been any downtime to enjoy. This also resulted in chores not being done, an unintended, yet selfish consequence of our actions.

The 15 Minute Experiment

The children, of course, were rather oblivious to their dawdling, so I decided to run an experiment. I gave them a sheet of paper with the times of the day listed along the left hand side in 15 minute increments. I then set the timer to go off every 15 minutes, at which time they would stop everything and write down what they were doing. It was shocking, by the end of the day, to see how much time was spend staring out the window, talking to each other, and playing with pets. It definitively gave them an awareness of how they were spending their time. Hopefully this can help to lead to a better use of that time.

Has Punctuality Lost It’s Value in Our Society?

Although it occasionally feels like it, I don’t know if I can confidently declare punctuality as defunct. What I do know is that we as parents can ensure that this character trait and virtue is instilled in our children, so that they, in turn, can be examples to others. It is my hope that my children can demonstrate kindness and respect of others, and one way to do this is through punctuality.